Safe Haven

I probably should have made this blog post earlier in the week, but I guess now is better than never right? So here goes!
Valentines Day is a great holiday, not just for the hallmark cards, flowers and heart shaped cakes and balloons but because it is a day to celebrate love. Love is a powerful thing, so powerful that it is mentioned in the bible 314 times. But what exactly is love? Well to answer that simply: God is love. Although I could write a whole post on God love, this isn't what this post is about. But if you want to know more about God's love check out these out: John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4-5, Psalm 86:15, John 13:34-35.
What I want to discuss in this post is the love, we as humans show for each other. We as humans have desires to be loved and cared for and sometimes what we need is overtaken by these desires. What I am trying to say is that sometimes you fall in love with the wrong person. Sometimes you think you love this person and you think that they love you back because you desire to be loved back. Think of it as falling in love with the idea of falling in love. You fall in love with the idea of loving this guy or girl and you mistaken that idea of love, as the real thing. 
I had a friend who was very close to me. I loved her like family (and still do!) and I spent a lot of my free time at her house. Did you notice I used the past tense in that last sentence? I said I had a friend and I spent time at her house because unfortunately she is no longer a part of my life because of a situation she has been put in by her husband, the person who is supposed to love her most in this world. In high school she fell in love with this man and shortly after high school they got married. One day, almost 20 years into their marriage something set him off into the deep end and he ended up hurting her. This is the point where you would think that she would leave to protect herself right? wrong. She forgave him. Then she forgave him a second time, and a third time and every time after that. 
Although this act of violence was towards her it effected more people that I think he or she realizes. As a friend who was watching this whole situation unfold I was scared or more accurately terrified. This person I have loved is now being hurt by the man who stood in front of a church and devoted his love toward her. Eventually he cut her off from all family and friends, brainwashing her into thinking that we were a part of the problem. Inside I want to believe and have faith that she doesn't believe what he is telling her but I don't get any more phone calls from her, he monitors her email and made her delete her facebook. How is this love? The answer is simple; it isn't.
There are organizations out there that are willing and able to help victims of abuse but the victim has to step out and speak up for themselves and seek the help they need. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relation PLEASE check out these resources and know that these kinds of relationships don't just hurt you, but hurt everyone around you. If I said that there were not any nights that I have cried myself to sleep because I was worried about her safety or upset that we don't have any kind of relationship anymore and that I don't know when I will ever be able to see her I'd be lying. 
So on this Valentines Day let the people you love know that you love them. And if you know of anyone in an abusive relationship or even suspect it, please help them! Give them the abuse hotline number, help them come up with a plan if they want to or have to leave. I have lost someone dear to me, someone I considered another mom and I don't want the same thing to happen to anyone else. I have kept this to myself for almost a year now but I think it time to get it out there, let others know that they are not alone. There is help. And remember that true love is in God. Love him and you will know true love.